How does change effect us? Every body goes through changes… it can be in their career or their family life or relationships. It is not the change itself but how we react to change that truly matters.
I always wondered why in my 5 years of living here in the US, I was not able to get a license. I have always felt a certain rage when I saw my inability to get a license when so many people around me seem to get it so easily without the resources I have. In India I was a very independent woman. I was brought up to do my own work and not to depend on anyone to get my things done. I always relied on myself to get to places and get things done.
But here, I would always end up going to get my learner’s permit but somehow was not able to get the actual permit itself. Being an independent woman it made me mad. I was very angry whenever this topic came. After marriage this topic always made me furious and it slowly caused a strain in our relation. It changed me to a bitter person as I held everything in me.
But just this past week while praying I realized something, what if all of this is God’s plan to teach me humility. Everybody is proud and filled with pride in their own way. Like every man has his own medicine also every person has his own lesson. But what if this is all God’s plan for me.
I did not even realize it was pride that was making me angry during this whole time. Imagine being independent for the most part and suddenly being so dependent on a person and not even being able to anything about it. It was a very difficult time for me, until yesterday where I felt that all of this might be God’s way to show me some humility.
It is like the person who got the one talent from the owner (Matthew 25:14–30). He is really happy he got one talent from him but also not sure what to do with it. He could not buy anything with the little he had so what he did is buried it deep inside and kept looking at every one beside him and felt jealous that he got too little to do anything with it. Soon he forgot he had it and blamed everyone. When the owner came he made excuses and told he did the best he could with this little he had because he buried it saying his master is like that…. what he should have done is taken that one talent and did the best he could with it. He should have learned that one was enough and his master knows him best and had given him the wisdom to do the best. He should have trusted and thanked his master for giving him that one talent. That is what he should do and what I will try to do.
He gives us something we need, not what we want. It is true in my case.
It made me realize that I should start being humble and learn to be the best of what I am given. I might be a very dependent housewife, but I would like to take that role and excel at it. So let’s see what God has in store for me during this time. This feels exciting after a long time.